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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25420591">We Have Changed But We're Still the Same.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaryav/pseuds/Zaryav'>Zaryav</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Carol Danvers &amp; Steve Rogers Friendship, Carol Danvers &amp; Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Reunions, Steve Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:21:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25420591</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaryav/pseuds/Zaryav</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve deserve an apology for everything they went through together. Tony is getting ready to take the first step with a little help from the new girl.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We Have Changed But We're Still the Same.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Writing this when the last trailer for Avengers: End Game arrived, so many things don't make sense, 'cause until then they were only the assumptions of what would happen.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He wasn't quite sure when his life went from "miserably stable" to "tremendously depressing shit."</p><p>Just a few days ago, he and Nebula arrived on Earth with more bad news than he has ever said in his entire life. And everything already seems to be hell on Earth as in the rest of the universe.</p><p>People don't smile, and when they do, their cheeks are soaked with tears faster than expected.</p><p>He doesn't blame them, Tony has nightmares with Peter's voice in the background begging him not to leave him, and he thinks that if he hadn't looked for him from the beginning and talked things over with Steve ... if he had talked to Steve then Thanos would have died right away because he would be there motivating him not to die.</p><p>And then he wouldn't have lost the child.</p><p>But there are more important things for Steve Rogers; things like "James Barnes."</p><p>James Barnes, the famous fucking motherfucker who made him see that what was between him and Steve was nothing more than a "nothing" because there was always a something between James and Rogers.</p><p>Tony is an adult at the end of the day and by the time he gets to the Avengers Tower he gives his brother Rhodey a hug, greets Bruce with a nod, and finally shakes hands with the woman who saved his life. introduces herself as Carol Danvers.</p><p>And at no point does Tony turn to Steve Rogers.</p><p>Things happen like this for the next few days. He knows that Steve sometimes watches him when they organize together to create his plan on how they will beat Thanos, but he talks long enough not to pay attention to it.</p><p>And Tony keeps ignoring Steve, and he doesn't know how to get through this whole thing. Part of him wished that Steve had also evaporated from the world because then he wouldn't have to pretend that he didn't exist even when they were in the same room occupying the same table. And at night he's tormented by the idea that if they lose against Thanos and all their efforts go to waste they'll have to see him leave or that if he's the one who dies, his gaze will look for Steve. He's afraid that Steve will look at him with those stupid eyes that he puts on when things are getting out of hand and he'll only deny. So Tony won't know if he is mourning the death of one of the team, if he'll be sorry that that death is Tony's, or if maybe Steve will think: "You couldn't even do this well, Stark."</p><p>A hand rests on his shoulder, his eyes burn and he doesn't realize when the room is already alone.</p><p>"Coffee?"</p><p>Tony denies, Natasha sits next to him and smiles at him as if in pity. That expression that seems that everyone insists on putting on when they are near him. As if Tony was the only one who lost everything even long before all this hell came into their lives.</p><p>"When are you planning to fix it?"</p><p>Even he doesn't know if there is anything to fix.</p><p>Or if it will be worth it.</p><p>"It wasn't me who abandoned the other." Tony is staring at her, he knows he can cry at any moment so he gets up and walks towards the exit with a lump in his throat that has been there since Steve left.</p><p>"You should give up your arrogance for a moment," she says wearily. "You both should."</p><p>Tony shakes his head from side to side and ends by opening the door to escape from the room and heading to his workshop with his mind set on the only thing that keeps him sane for that moment: bringing Parker and the rest of the universe back missing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tony stirs upset when he hears the knock on the door, Bruce enters the room and Tony stands up so fast that he staggers on the spot. Banner has an agitated expression and Tony fears the worst.</p><p>At that moment he is truly afraid.</p><p>"Clint is here, Tony."</p><p>He sighs in relief and nods, letting out the air he was holding in his lungs through his mouth, runs the palms of his hands over his tired face and looks at him.</p><p>"I'll go soon."</p><p>"I shouldn't have woken you up, God, I'm sorry."</p><p>"Don't worry, someone else was going to do it any time," he denies. "I just have to wear something decent."</p><p>Bruce nods and leaves leaving him alone again. Tony goes to the bathroom and takes a quick shower before going to meet Clint. He doesn't know if he should go over his words, or if it would be nice to think of a welcome speech to this shit that definitely isn't "The Avengers" or if he should just shake hands and give him a hug because God he really needed a hug.</p><p>And he didn't want Natasha, who was on Steve's side as always, or Rodhey taking pity on him despite everything, and definitely not Bruce being ... Bruce.</p><p>He wanted Steve, Tony really needed his Steve.</p><p>There's a knock on the door again, a light but imposing knock, and he finally comes out of the trance.</p><p>Tony wipes away the traces of tears that he didn't realize existed at the time, quickly puts on his shirt, and opens the door with the best neutrality grimace (and also the most pretended one) he can put on.</p><p>"Hello, Stark." Carol greets her arms folded under the door. "I don't know if you've been told already, but... Clint?" Tony nods at the correct name. "Right, he's here."</p><p>"They told me a while ago, thanks."</p><p>"Oh, well I ..." She frowns at him and widens her eyes because she seems to have noticed that Tony is a mess. "Everything is alright?"</p><p>"What? Yes, yes." He carves his eyes and smiles slightly by running his tongue over his lower lip. "For this shit, it is."</p><p>"Well, clearly you are not well."</p><p>Carol enters his room, pushing him aside, and sits on the bed unattended, Tony looks at her confused and closes the door behind him and finally realizes the disaster that is his room and how Carol seems to be surrounded by a whole aura of depression that doesn't go with her.</p><p>"Tell me what's going on, I can help you, or at least let me listen to you." She pats a place next to her by the bed so that Tony sits there, but he does it slowly, as if Carol were going to burn him alive with her powers, until Tony finally settles. "Who ... did you lose?"</p><p>"I didn't lose ..." Carol raises both eyebrows expectantly because she clearly doesn't believe him and he denies. "A boy, a wonderful boy who was put in danger by my ... selfishness." His voice comes out in a brittle thread, and he knows she can feel the pain in each of his words.</p><p>Tony starts to sob, leans in and sticks his elbows to his thighs to put all the weight on them, Danvers runs one of his hands over his back from top to bottom trying to calm something he doesn't know if he can actually calm.</p><p>And Tony doesn't blame her, at this point everything seems lost.</p><p>"And Steve, Steve Rogers ..."</p><p>"Rogers?" Tony nods. "I don't understand. Why did you lose him? He's right here. You cannot lose something that is entirely within your reach."</p><p>"You do not understand." Stark rejoins, hiccuping in the process, being aware of the disgust she must have at this point.</p><p>"I have only been here a short time, Tony; and circumstances haven't allowed me to meet all of you precisely in a café, but I can see that the Captain isn't the kind of person who doesn't forgive."</p><p>"Well, he's the kind of person who prefers the man who murdered my parents over me." The force put into his fists makes his knuckles white, he knows he must relax if he doesn't want everything to spin out of control, but that doesn't seem very likely at this point in the conversation. "He decided to hide the truth from me, and not having enough with that he made up stories to justify two murders."</p><p>Carol was silent for a few seconds and sighed heavily. With more knots than words in mind. "That ... I don't have the right words for this, Stark, but I do know that you both can fix things."</p><p>"I'm a fucking selfish, that's what they say about me, right? That I'm someone who wouldn't give his life for the cause. What would be the point?"</p><p>Carol takes his hands and looks at him with a particular sparkle in her eyes. Tony has lived long enough to know that she's that type of woman; she's one of those who have faith even in lost causes like him.</p><p>"If you're selfish, then be selfish enough to speak to him for your peace. Tell him you forgive him, I'm not asking you to go back to whatever they had before, but look at you," she points him up and down with the index finger. "It isn't doing you good to torment yourself with this. Don't do it for him, do it for you."</p><p>Tony nods and ends up hugging her and whispers a thank you, a thanks for listening, a thanks for the advice and one for not being anywhere and just being the objective mind on this. She tightens it and swears it is the best hug she has ever had; there is no pity, there is no one side or the other and suddenly he feels incredibly at peace.</p><p>He feels then that he is alive, that Carol is alive and that thanks to the universe, Steve is also alive.</p><p>"We don't know, Tony." She begins. "But sometimes things are so simple that you just have to knock on the door to have an answer."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He has to tell her, he knows it because it is what anyone would do, but he is also afraid to ask because he couldn't bear another disappointment or pain.</p><p>However, he does, asking Natasha if Pepper is fine, if she didn't disappear by Thanos' snap, and during the seconds when there is no answer, he feels his heart pump out of his mouth, as if all the time he had a lump in his throat.</p><p>"She's fine, Tony, she's at your house ... I guess I should have told you before, I'm sorry."</p><p>His stomach churns, but he can't help but smile, and he runs out to meet Pepper and tell him he's determined to speak to Steve once and for all.</p><p>And it doesn't take him long to get to what was once his home when in an attempt by both of them to strengthen that bond of friendship they had they were going to get married and move in together.</p><p>He knocks on the door, he's anxious and his face is frozen by the cold weather, but none of that matters when the door opens and she's there; She looks him up and down and as fast as possible and does not wait any longer to hug him with all the strength she has.</p><p>She takes his face in her hands and brings their foreheads together as she cries and whispers his name. Tony then understands that Thanos took more from them than loved ones.</p><p>"Thank God you're alive," she sobs with her lips trembling and shoves him inside the house to shelter from the weather.</p><p>"I was so worried about you ... I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, I thought you-"</p><p>"Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore, Tony."</p><p>They both hug and stay like this for a while until Tony talks to him about the conversation he had with Natasha and the one he had with Carol after that, he tells him that he is terribly scared about Steve and if they are going to forgive each other's mistakes or if There will be something else after they decide to leave everything alone "if it happens", but she manages to reassure him by saying that whatever happens she will be with him to support him.</p><p>And he doesn't know, but all he needed was to know that there was something in his life that he hadn't ruined.</p><p>And that was Pepper Potts, the adorable woman who made his life a little less sad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's when the rock falls that there really is an effect.</p><p>He's there at the end of the hall and at the other end is the door to Rogers' room.</p><p>Tony steps forward slowly and lists the possibilities with his fingertips tangling together. He could invite him over for a coffee for privacy and excuse his silences with sips of coffee, but Steve doesn't like coffee and the smell is nauseating.</p><p>He can try his workshop, but everyone goes in and out of there and with Rocket and Nebula taking over the place, it doesn't seem like the most private situation.</p><p>Goes through Vision's room, Steve's is getting closer.</p><p>Maybe he tries something faster, without explanation, just get to the point.</p><p>Yes, of course, something quick that doesn't give him time to reject it, but neither to accept it so that he runs into his arms again, maybe something else.</p><p>"Tony?" His voice is soft, he's surprised, but it's also the most tense thing he's ever seen before. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"I live here."</p><p>Not a good start, he needs shut up now.</p><p>"Yeah, I... it was kind of silly, sorry." Steve runs his hand behind the nape of his neck and scratches his head nervously, closes the door behind him, is ready to leave, but returns on his feet and turns to Tony, who's still standing there staring at the floor like an idiot. "Sorry, I was going out looking for you ... I need to talk to you."</p><p>Tony nods and turns to him, wrinkles his nose and raises his chin to look him in the eye with awe.</p><p>"Do you want to pass?"</p><p>Of course, they could also just go to their room, because it was the simplest thing, and Steve likes simple things, like chamomile tea.</p><p>"Yeah, whatever."</p><p>Steve opens the door for Tony and he comes in looking at everything around him. The place smells of Steve, Tony is surprised to see a photo of him and Peter on the nightstand. He doesn't give it much importance, he doesn't want Steve to realize that he noticed his because that would create an even more uncomfortable situation.</p><p>"What did you want to tell me?" Tony stands idly by, Steve finally decides to look at him.</p><p>"Tony, I want to apologize, for what I didn't say, for my actions, for pushing you to do what you did." Tony relaxes his frown, he no longer has that sharp gaze on Steve ready to attack him if necessary and he only lets his guard down almost totally, because he hurt more than just an ego. "Not a day goes by that I don't regret what I did to them and how I ruined everything between us, and Tony, I just implore you to forgive me."</p><p>Steve walks up to Tony and approaches until Tony puts a hand on his chest stopping his path.</p><p>"You hurt me, Steve." He nods and Tony continues. "You lied to me and left me without caring what you, me and Peter had." He fixes his gaze on the photograph on the nightstand, no longer caring if this is uncomfortable or not. "But I also had my mistakes, I couldn't force you not to see the only thing you had left of your past, it was something ... selfish of me."</p><p>Steve tries to speak, but Tony denies, he isn't done yet.</p><p>"We hurt each other, we tried so hard to win a battle in which we were able to get away unscathed, I let myself be carried away by what I felt and not by reason, and I never made an effort to fix things between us, I didn't I tried to call, and I just ... just ... "</p><p>They are both crying, neither of them can finish talking so they hug each other, they do it with such force that for a moment it's suffocating, and Steve clings so tightly to Tony's body that he feels like he is going to break it at any moment.</p><p>"I'm sorry I hid things from you." Steve sniffs through his nose, joining his forehead with Tony's looking into his eyes. "I don't hold a grudge against you, and I deeply wish you didn't have it towards me either ... although I would totally understand if you did-"</p><p>Tony kisses him, interrupts him in the best way he can think of at the time, and is immediately reciprocated. It's a needy kiss so they don't separate and if there was any limit between the touch of their bodies, they have broken it because it no longer exists.</p><p>They're determined to explore, remember and try new things. Steve digs his fingertips into Tony's hair and he reaches under Steve's shirt. Rogers marks a small distance and smiles a smile between his lips, Tony moans in reproach, but they end up just hugging with Steve resting his chin on Tony's shoulder ..</p><p>"Were you really going to find me?" Tony strokes the opposite cheek and doesn't clear his eyes from Steve's head.</p><p>"Carol spoke to me, she made me see reason."</p><p>Tony smiles and nods, because of course she would do something like that.</p><p>"She just arrived and is already fixing our problems as a cupid."</p><p>"She didn't fix our problems, she just gave us the little push we needed."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tony doesn't know what the future holds for them, he has no idea if they will beat Thanos; he doesn't know if one of them will die, or if all will. But what he does know is that they will be together the moment that happens, he knows that they will have each other, both ready for what comes and more.</p><p>"Promise me that when it happens," Tony looks at him pleading not to hint at anything. "Tony, look at me." He denies, looks away refusing the simple idea of what he knows Steve is hinting at. "Promise me that you'll take my hand."</p><p>"It won't happen, Rogers, I won't hold anything because it won't happen."</p><p>Steve closes his eyes tight and sticks Tony's knuckles to his eyelids, then lowers them to his lips and kisses them.</p><p>"If it happens, tell me you'll be with me, promise me."</p><p>"I promise I will not allow anything to happen."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it isn't good, but I wrote it in one of my worst moments a year ago, I would be so grateful to know your opinion.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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